google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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