yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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