we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
