I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
