So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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