the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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