Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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