Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize