I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
