you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
