he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
