Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
