Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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