I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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