Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
