So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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