what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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