On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Panties = found
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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