three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
