Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize