i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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