I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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