census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
did i just pee glitter
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