Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
