you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
