I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize