so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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