I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
