i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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