Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
