Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
