I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
