Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
