Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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