Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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