My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
