She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
