the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dignity is for republicans.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Panties = found
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
