i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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