How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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