not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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