There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
