She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
