i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize