Your mouth is God's brothel.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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