If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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