I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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