I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
