i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
