If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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