I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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