Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
