there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
