he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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